Tanaka Kure-ji♥ タナカ－くれじ＜、３

2011-11-21T20:07:00.001-08:00

~Sigh~

Why do food have to smell so good?...I've been on this diet for 3weeks now and its getting harder & harder and in every day in everyway. All I can think about and smell is food... I try not to eat because when i do i feel bad and purge...and lately my nose been bleedingi don't know if thats a bad thing, but either way if it is i would only care for a splitting second but after i look in the mirror i snap back into reality...I'm only going to do this for a least 5months and if i don't lose 30lbs then i will just forgot about it and stay fat...but until then i'm working my best to lose all this weight wish me luck! FIGHTING! ><'

2011-10-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

Talk to a lot of people but yet so alone.... deny and not accepted but yet people say hi.... what am i to do in this mad world?.... Once before I lied....well actually come to think of it I didn't lie just things change over time.... but I realize I'm not as strong as I used to think, I'm weak and pathetic. maybe thats why I have no friends and no one wants to talk to me. or is it because I gain weight and i'm fat, ugly and now even have scar my face...even through i got that scar by accident, its still their as bright as day... lately i hate my life even more then before, but yet im not cutting not really but one day i'm going to break and may even kill myself but either way why does it matter because i know for a fact no one gives to shit for me.... and i'm starting not to give a fuck either....

Today I realize?..^^"

2011-09-06T19:45:00.000-07:00

After reading my noona awesome blog ~

"click on monkey"

she made me realize a LOT...I guess what i'm trying to say is, life is what you make of it! I really need to try harder to be happier <3 ~ and not set down on my ass all day and mope. Even through school is starting tomorrow and i'm not ready at all and i know i'm going to be even more alone then last year.-.-" I'm going to try my best to get through this and think positive it's only a year of school think god! or not blame anyone for my problems, no matter how many times people let me down or get on my nerves. one person was their for me at a time. thank you noona for making me realize this! I wish you best of luck and i am 100% by your side at all times.

2011-09-05T01:05:00.000-07:00

Can someone be in love at a young age?..

Most people will say,
You don't know what love is
You are still young...
But don't we start to love from a young age???
When we are babies like 2months we cry
We cry for our moms to feed us
But not just for food we cry,
We also cry so our mom or dad
Can hold us with tender and care
Isn't tender and care loving someone?
When we are 12-14 years old in middle school
We say "that's my boo, I love him"
Most people will say you don't know what love is...
But how is someone suppose know what love is
If they don't experience it?..
To me anyone can be in love no matter what
Even if they are young
Maybe it's not love to you
But maybe to them it is...
If they are willing to do anything for that person
Then it is love in my opinon..
Love to me means you will do anything physically and mentally
You will even die for them...
To me love is a very strong word just like hate...

The days of my existence...

Day 1.

A empty room I seat alone

Staring at the wall

Tears fall down my face

Just like the rain

Can’t wake up alive again

When will this end?...

Day 2.

I made it through another day

I truly think it went okay

I lived my day by making choices

To show the world

I have one voice

You wouldn’t understand

So don’t even try to begin

You don’t know what it’s like

When sometimes you want to die...

Day 3.

Their was once a little girl

Fulll of happiness, and pride

Where did it all go?..

I wish I can go back in time

To that little girl and tell her

Not to fear, don't turn into a monster I am today...

The Final Day...

I want out of here!

But I’m feeling really weak,

The possibilities of being saved

Are looking pretty meek

The more I seem to struggle

The chains begin to bind,

It’s so disappointing that my freedom

I may never find

I hope I can gather the courage

To finally leave this place..

"Maze" by Epik High

Three blind mice as we're lost in the maze route, lookin' for the easiest possible way out.

Day in and day out, you run into a closed road. Turning into old folk, chasing after rose gold.

What they don't know is that it belongs to a fool.

Choosing wants over needs, singing songs of a mule.

Carrying their burdens when you barely know the person,

And that is the difference between a pharaoh and a servant.

I choose to serve no man but serve mankind,

At the same time avoiding all of Earth's landmines.

You step in it and you blow up,

You exit or you grow up, or get locked up.

The pigs catch ya eating donuts.

But I'd rather rhyme bars than sit behind bars.

How can a prison cell contain this shining bright star.

They have no idea what I could do in a minute's time.

Break down the walls of the maze and run through the finish line.

Life is like a maze... when I'm flippin' through the pages.

[Myk's Verse]

It's high definition black and white.

Is it digital, analog, wack or tight?

It's stressful wishing sacrifice, and the list goes on. It's the facts of life.

East coast ettiquite, west coast slang.

Peace we'll never get if shit don't change.

Do you play with the majors or go independent?

Gotta stay paid but I'm broke like a peasant.

Love, sex, greed, addictions. What's next?

Need directions. There's nobody left to follow.

Wallow in my sorrow for a hollow tomorrow.

Life is like a maze, try to keep track of the days that take us from place to place.

Awaken and face-to-face.

Too many choices, possibilities, indecision is killing me.

And if you lend a helping hand, then I will follow willingly.

Life is like a maze... when I'm flippin' through the pages.

M-A-P T-H-E Soul, M-A-Z-E, lose control.

[Tablo's Verse]

Flip through fashion magazines, cop a swag or lean.

When nothing's goin' 'smooth', rub a little vaseline.

Do an online, offline, frontline search. Either quench or confine your Columbine thirst. Cuz you wanna fit in...

And find a perfect 'match' to set your heart in flames. You wanna be a catch.

Catch-22, catch the flu, catchphrase.

By any means necessary in this rat's maze.

It's a black haze muddle, a rainy day puddle...

Life is gonna wet ya, get ya in a muzzle.

A struggle to survive, a huddle nine to five with no quarterback.

Change? You won't even get a quarter back.

It's a murder fact, reality kills. Call your doctor now for your reality pills.

Chill, but still worry... a bug's goin' around.

Cuz life is like your homie, it's 'holdin' u down'.

Life is like a maze... when I'm flippin' through the pages.

My Poem`s

2009-05-25T00:31:00.000-07:00

LIFE

Live, Drugs, War, Love and etc...
what is life?
is life important is it?
life doesn't even last forever.
so is life really that important?
we try so hard to survive.
but at the end we give in.
what is life?
what is life meant for?
We ask but don't have the answer,
We Search but don't Find,
what is life we all ask?
life is a mystery to all.
but what is life to me?
well.....
enjoying, having fun, meting new people,
LOVE, try new things, never hold back,
doing want you what,
but getting what you need....
Living!
that is life to me...
but what does life really mean,
well I don't have the answer,
only you do you have the answer for yourself...

DREAMING OF YOU

I dream of you...
we kiss then touch and with on.
i'm dreaming of your kiss.
dreaming of your touch.
dreaming about you.
what am i to do?
every time i see your smile it makes me go crazy.
every time you talk i just want to kiss your lips.
why do i feel this way?
i'm just dreaming of you?
it feels like we were meant to be...
but you seem to not care and every time i try to tell you the truth
i mix up my words and don't tell you...
instead i dream of me and being with you...

Fly Away

Sometimes I think about flying away
Just pack my bags and fly away
Fly as far as I can
to get away from all the pain and agony
to get away from all of my bad thoughts
to get away from the human race
to get away from everything
the breeze and the wind feel oh so wonderful
it makes me feel free
flying with the birds
and the bats
racing the airplanes
seeing who gets there first
going to different places
and different countries
looking down at the earth
and seeing how small it really is
flying through water
and drinking it, is so refreshing...
But then I wake up
back to reality
home alone in my bed
the only person near me is my shadow on the wall
and a notebook in front of me
I close the notebook
and maybe tomorrow
I fly away again♥...

Reality or Fantasy?...

Lying down on the grass
next to you
Dazing in your eyes
Then dazing out...
Am I really next to you?
Or is this another dream?...
I don't know what to do sometimes
When I'm lonely...
I hear your voice but don't see you
Is this a reality or fantasy?..
I see a picture is that you?
Or another fanasty?..
I don't know if I'm dreaming
But I saw your face before in a desented crowd..
Maybe it's another dream or fantasy
But I swore I've seen you?..
I even call in the wind...
But for some reason you have not answer back?..
I call again just in case but still no answer...
Maybe this is a dream or fanasty or not humanity
Or maybe it's me that's not reality?...

Life Routine

Same routine each and everyday.
I just can't wait for another day.
Another day not the same.
Another day in which is different.
Different in which I am different.
Different from all kinds.
Different in which I'm existing.
Existing to the world.
Existing to being a kind.
The kind;
delicated, emaciated even peaked.
Something different from the rest.
Something more unique.
Something more valuable.
I'll will wait forever for that day...
Until that day I sit,
And wait,
And
I'll do the same routine like no other...

RELIGION

Religion??
what is religion??

My Stories INFO =33!♥

2009-05-23T09:06:00.001-07:00

I love writing stories it makes me feel wonderful and free like a bird flying in the air...kind of getting off subject but this blog ~ ~ is about all the stories I write and hopefully one day it will come to the public eyes to see until then this is private for a reason! ;] <3